I promise not to always give you a play by play of my child's sleeping habits, but I wanted to follow up my previous sleeping blog with an update -
This morning after falling asleep finally at 8 a.m., Eli slept for 2 hours. When he woke up, I fed him and we went for a long walk (and I persisted at not letting him fall asleep in the stroller, eventually carrying him for the last little bit so he wouldn't doze off... not an easy task with this 16-pounder), and at the advice of Dr. Andy, gave Eli a "snack" 30 minutes before it was time for his next nap. Then at 12:15, I started the process of changing his diaper, reading a few stories, singing a song, and quietly telling him it was time for his nap and putting him in the crib.
As soon as he was in the crib, Eli's eyes welled up with tears and went full blast into the "You are hurting my feelings!" cry. I left the room for about 10 minutes, went back in, and he was crying really hard. I pulled him out, put him on his tummy on the rug next to the crib, and got down on my tummy next to him. No toys, no fun, just something to wear him out a little more! Eventually he got sick of our boring tummy time and I held him, rocked him, read another book, sang another song, put him back down. More tears!
I left him for 10 more minutes, then went back in to calm him back down, and more tears. Finally on the last time that I went in, I remembered someone had given us one of those satiny/soft small square blankets, so I gave that to him, and he cuddled with it, shoved part of it in his mouth, and I put him back down in his crib. He fussed off and on for about 15 more minutes, but finally fell asleep. VICTORY!!!
I think that was the first time that he fell asleep in his crib, without being nursed to sleep first. It took an hour from the time I started, but I'm hoping tomorrow's efforts won't take AS long...??? Oh the joy of fixing my mistakes!
10 comments:
Oh Sarah, I made those same mistakes with Ellery, and it wasn't until she was six months old that I had the courage to finally let her learn to cry herself to sleep. But once I did, she was so much happier because she was getting the sleep she needed, and didn't need to rely on me to put her to sleep. And I was so much happier, because my day wasn't consumed with fretting over her sleeping and eating schedule. But don't be so hard on yourself. Really, I think so many do it with their first, and then learn. I was a different creature with Bennett, and I imagine it will be different for you with your second. But then, honestly, a lot of that is because you have to be different with your second. You have two kids. You don't sit and listen and time how long they cry before they fall asleep, because you have another child to care for. I think a lot of the bad habits you may form with your first come from the fact that they are your first and you can devote all your time and energy to them, and so you do. That is a good thing, but can also lead to maybe spoiling them a bit in the beginning. And it is painful for both of you when you decide to break those habits. But you will be so much happier in the long run, and so will Eli. You can do it. Be strong! And sorry for the novel.
I think I tried laying Adele down without nursing around 8 or 10 months. And I cried every day, because she cried every day several hours for her morning nap, several hours for her afternoon nap. Survival tactic? I think I called you up and talked on the phone while she cried. (oh, then I gave up and tried again at 12 or 13 months and it worked). Why did it work later? Beats me. I think i DID let her fall asleep in the car, and she realized she preferred the crib.
you're not alone! that "you're hurting my feelings" crying phase really shook me up, because the tears felt so personal. but sleeping on his own in his crib will ultimately make him very happy. miss dub only needed one long hour of "crying it out" on the middle of the night to sleep through the night on her own. granted, i'm typing this at 6 a.m. because she just wet her bed. so really no mom ever gets to really sleep until her kids are grown ... but you will feel more sane with a few more hours of relaxation.
good luck!
YAY!!! That is a huge step and I promise it will only get easier.
You are a great mom!
Good Luck Sarah you are doing great! I can't give you any advice because both my kids were not "by the book" But Grant is an exclent sleeper and doesn't even fuss when it's time to go to bed. We'll have to see if Miss Evelyn can be that kind of kid too. I know what you are going through is hard because I am doing it too only it's an older ticked off baby. You'll be in my prayers!
Keep the sleep posts up. It helps me to hear from other moms what they do. You are a great mom and don't be too hard on yourself.
I think sometimes going in to the room to try and calm them down only makes it worse because they think you are coming to save them. Will Eli take a pacifier? I LOVE them and my girls did/do too. They help them self -soothe when they are little and the habit is easy to break because you just take it away when the time comes (unlike a thumb :-). It sounds like having a little blankie helped him too - getting them attached to something like that is always nice because then when you travel it helps them sleep where ever they may be. He's still little though - keep it up and he'll get with the routine soon!
Hooray Sarah, that is huge! I'll have to remember these tips!
OH I loved reading your comments! This weekend hasn't been perfect with the sleeping, but that's okay. Thanks for your support!!!
You poor thing! There is nothing worse than having to buckle down and get a child (and all children love routine) into a new routine. It SOOO pays off down the line though. It only gets tougher the older they get.
You'll more than likely have the same experience when at 12 months the doctor recommends that your baby be off of a bottle, and yet . . . it's just so easy to let them keep up with the bottle - but every month you hang on it's all the harder to keep with the routine.
I usually tried to leave the room and turn on some music or you could do an ipod thing to drown out the awful noise. It is definitely insufferable to listen to, but it is for their good!
So in answer to ONE of your questions - NO, you are not a bad Mom for letting him cry so hard. You are awesome!
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